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Philip, now in his late forties, is a consultant in a large teaching hospital. He spent the early years of his marriage climbing the medical ladder; like many other doctors, he spent relatively little time with his wife and growing family. He was dimly aware that he and his wife seemed to have less and less in common and that they bickered and argued a lot about domestic details when they were together. Poised and self-sufficient, he withdrew into an all-absorbing professional world, comforting himself that he was able to provide his family with a high standard of living although he rarely had time to enjoy it himself. When he was thirty-two his father died suddenly and painfully. This was the first important personal crisis in his well-ordered life and he was shocked to find that his wife could not help him, and did not even seem to want to. Life continued much as usual for another five years, until, at about the time he took up a more senior post, they began to argue bitterly about absolutely everything’. Eventually they decided to split up and she left home. Philip could not, at first, understand why he experienced such strong feelings of loss, for he realized that eventual separation was inevitable and he saw her departure as a relief and an opportunity to make a new beginning before it was too late’. He fell apart’ for several months, scarcely able to cope with

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